Tag Archives: teen issues

cary grant

Ask Weezy: If Cary Grant Had A Tumblr…

Was Cary Grant Gay, Straight, Bi or Tumblr-Sexual?

Question from Courtney F.

Hey Weezy, I’ve been questioning things lately (sexuality wise). I think I’m physically attracted to boys, but sexually attracted to girls. Would this make me bisexual?

Weezy

I am not sure. But what I am rapidly learning is that there are many new and emerging terms designed to help identify various sexual preferences. The Internet is serving as a magnetic force field that is pulling and aggregating people’s personal truths. Tumblr.com is on the front line of this revelatory movement. Here, for example, is one man’s Master List of Sexual Orientations.

My new belief is that there has always been this much diversity within humans and that the Internet is now allowing for more communication that promotes understanding and sharing and a sense of inclusion.

Many kids used to grow up feeling confused and “different,” so they would keep their feelings private and they would attempt to pry themselves into the least objectionable of two available boxes, labeled either Straight or Gay. They would situate themselves and their secret thoughts within that box, and they would carve out a life that often included a lot of lies and secrecy.

Since I began answering letters from teens six years ago, I have come to understand that things and people have never been that simple. It’s becoming increasingly clear that those of us who identify as straight or gay had far too easy a time telling other people that they had to pick a team.

But the tide is shifting and kids growing up today have a strong interest in allowing each other to identify in whatever way their natural inclination is inspiring them. New terms are springing up, and classifications can be everything from highly specific to very fluid depending entirely upon you and how you feel.

For example, right now I am reading Cary Grant: A Biography by Marc Eliot.

I used to believe that Cary Grant was probably a gay man pretending to be straight for the sake of his Hollywood career. I now think that he was either bisexual or bi-romantic or, choosing from the Tumblr list, maybe Androgynosexual.

He was married five times to five different women and was famously in love with Sophia Loren, so possibly, he was sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to women? Only Grant knew for certain.

He probably would have had a very cool Tumblr page, but my point is that throughout his lifetime, he endured a lot of gossip and innuendo regarding his orientation, and it really just should not have mattered.

Click Here to read the rest of the column on Noozhawk.

Uncertain Relationship

Ask Weezy Highlights – Friends With Benefits?

Ask Weezy Teen Advice
by Louise Palanker

Cover Art by Elenja

I host a safe and friendly teen social network, ios app called Our Place. Each week, thousands of questions pour into the community. Kids share with one another and I personally respond to about 20 questions per day in a teen advice column called Ask Weezy. Here are this week’s top five questions.

Question 1
Im scared of having sex, I’ve been friends with benefits with my best guy friend and we are both virgins and he thinks we should take things to the next level. But I’m scared.

Weezy
Do not do this. It’s a mistake. Your friend wants to have sex. That is not enough of a reason for YOU to have sex. This is not playing tennis. It is something very special that should be shared by two people in love.

My guess is that you care for him very deeply but the “friends with benefits” deal is not one which works out well for the girl. We women tend to love very deeply. We agree to that deal because we hope that it will lead to love. It rarely does. Let a guy love you before he gets to share your body with you. It’s you’re body. Tell him, no.

Question 2
Help! I don’t know what to do! My Best friend shares everything in common with me, we tell secrets and agree on everything, but this summer she left me for someone else and I don’t know what to do. There is nobody that is as much like me as her! What should I do?

Weezy
You do not know that there is nobody else like you. There are a ton of people in this world who are a lot like you. If your friend is off on her own path this summer, then take that as a message that you too are supposed to go find your adventure.

We can get too comfortable with our usual routine. Your friend just shook things up for you. Go see what and who is out there waiting to be discovered.

Question 3
What does it mean when a guy says he loves talking to you? I have been talking to this one guy 24/7 this whole week legit.. We have talked about my past relationships and we flirt text! And I he said that I was his “woman crush” Wednesday. Does he like me??

Weezy
You get to ask the guy what it means. He says that he loves talking with you and the two of you have been texting 24/7, (which in my opinion is not healthy) but it is a significant chunk of your life and if you would like it to mean something, then you need to ask for that.

Texting a person all day long eats away at your day, pulls you out of your real life relationships and it still leaves you wondering what it all means. That’s because this is empty communication. There is no substance.  It gets both of your hearts racing but we don’t know to what end.

So, say something meaningful to the boy, like “When can we hang out?” “I think I like you as more than a friend.” That type of thing. He’s getting this much of your time. He needs to give you an answer.

Question 4
Weezy…I’m starting to hate guys and not trust trust anyone. This boy named Josh started giving me hugs but then also touching my breast.

So, I started texting him saying that I did not like what he was doing. He kept asking me if I like him and I said, “I don’t know. So today he gave me hugs but then touched my butt. People saw us in the hallway thinking that we go out but we don’t.

My friend said not to go out with him because he is a hoe. Then my friends starting running their mouths to each other about me and him. I do not want them talking about me!!

One friend told me that Josh has a girlfriend and he’s touching me like we go out.

AND WHAT MADE ME SO MAD WAS WHEN JOSH SAID I HAVE A FLAT BUTT. I was like don’t f*** with me no more because he’s a hoe! I’m sorry for my language. But that pissed me off, I know I have no butt and he pointed that out. I was about to burst into tears, because I have no butt. Is there a way to get a butt? And a way to gain weight because I’m really skinny.

Weezy
Wow, your question is all over the road. Let’s start by focussing on what matters. You deserve to be treated with respect. You must ask people to treat you with respect. Don’t text a request for respect. Say it. And say it in a way that allows you to respect yourself. “Excuse me. Take your hand off of me.” Then you stop hugging this boy. He has shown you who he is. Believe it. He does not get to know you or be around you.

It should not matter if you tell a friend and she tells a friend that this boy has no respect for girls and women. That is the truth. That is what happened. Do not call him names. There is no need for that. But you can say, “He’s not a gentleman.” That is it. Then move on.

Now, since we have established that he is not a gentleman and that he does not deserve your time, please tell me why his opinion should matter to you? I do not know how to change the shape of your body. I do know that you are beautiful as you are. Believe that and walk through the world with the confidence of a woman who loves herself. You have been created and therefore, you have a right to a voice and to your dignity. Ask for it and make no apologies for being your own true self.

Question 5
My boyfriend wants to see five movies with his ex , he says they’re just friends and that she has moved on. He says he is with me so nothing will happen but I can’t help but be jealous. I want him to be happy and spend time with his friends but it’s hard for me not to get jealous. What should I do? (also he still has little feelings for her)

Weezy
My view is that he does not get to do this if he wants to remain in a relationship with you. He can maybe go to the movies in a group of people but it is a really fine line.

If there is one activity that is considered “a date,” it is taking a girl to the movies. He can take a walk or go to Starbucks or sit on swings in the park and talk, but no movies. For that, he needs to be single.

And you should figure out where his head is at and what you want, because if he still has feelings for her and has the nerve to specifically ask to see FIVE movies with her, then that means that he is undecided. Therefore, you must determine if he is the person you want to be dating.

Louise Palanker, long exposure by Ian Broyles

Our Place Out Loud – Teen Advice Podcast

Our Place Out Loud is a teen advice talk show featuring Louise Palanker and a panel of actual teens… who talk out loud about all of the stuff that really matters.  Teens are Talking on Our Place Out Loud.

Episode 178 Features:

Talking to Your Crush
Stretch Marks? Do Guys Care?
Addiction
The Friend Zone
and more…

teen advice, teen expert, teen talk show

Our Place Out Loud – Teen Advice Podcast

Episode 177 With special musical guest, Keaton Simons

Our Place Out Loud is a teen advice talk show featuring a panel of wise and wonderful kids along with host and teen expert, Louise Palanker.

This week’s installment finds the panel and Keaton discussing:

First Kisses
Crush Drama
Divorcing Parents
Rebellious Siblings
and more…

Plus, Keaton performs his hit single, Beautiful Pain.

Join us!