Tag Archives: louise palanker

cary grant

Ask Weezy: If Cary Grant Had A Tumblr…

Was Cary Grant Gay, Straight, Bi or Tumblr-Sexual?

Question from Courtney F.

Hey Weezy, I’ve been questioning things lately (sexuality wise). I think I’m physically attracted to boys, but sexually attracted to girls. Would this make me bisexual?

Weezy

I am not sure. But what I am rapidly learning is that there are many new and emerging terms designed to help identify various sexual preferences. The Internet is serving as a magnetic force field that is pulling and aggregating people’s personal truths. Tumblr.com is on the front line of this revelatory movement. Here, for example, is one man’s Master List of Sexual Orientations.

My new belief is that there has always been this much diversity within humans and that the Internet is now allowing for more communication that promotes understanding and sharing and a sense of inclusion.

Many kids used to grow up feeling confused and “different,” so they would keep their feelings private and they would attempt to pry themselves into the least objectionable of two available boxes, labeled either Straight or Gay. They would situate themselves and their secret thoughts within that box, and they would carve out a life that often included a lot of lies and secrecy.

Since I began answering letters from teens six years ago, I have come to understand that things and people have never been that simple. It’s becoming increasingly clear that those of us who identify as straight or gay had far too easy a time telling other people that they had to pick a team.

But the tide is shifting and kids growing up today have a strong interest in allowing each other to identify in whatever way their natural inclination is inspiring them. New terms are springing up, and classifications can be everything from highly specific to very fluid depending entirely upon you and how you feel.

For example, right now I am reading Cary Grant: A Biography by Marc Eliot.

I used to believe that Cary Grant was probably a gay man pretending to be straight for the sake of his Hollywood career. I now think that he was either bisexual or bi-romantic or, choosing from the Tumblr list, maybe Androgynosexual.

He was married five times to five different women and was famously in love with Sophia Loren, so possibly, he was sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to women? Only Grant knew for certain.

He probably would have had a very cool Tumblr page, but my point is that throughout his lifetime, he endured a lot of gossip and innuendo regarding his orientation, and it really just should not have mattered.

Click Here to read the rest of the column on Noozhawk.

Iphone 6 Plus Size

The iPhone 6 Plus – One Girl’s Adventure

I am a woman who loves technology.  Caveat: I suck at technology. But 98% of life is showing up, right? Well, I show up for technology. Extra credit for me! What I love most about technology is the capabilities it unlocks for we creatives.  When I have a friend who is resisting the latest gizmo or Link Your Face social network, I will show him how it could specifically work for him.

“You love weaving grass into hats and you love ferrets. Let’s post this picture of your ferret in his grass hat and tag it so that your ferret can meet new friends!”

I enjoy showing people how to take better photos, and movies, edit and enhance them, share them online, use navigation, watch videos, download apps, upload puppy pics and (for the love of God) change their factory set ring tone.  We are all almost never without our phones.  Why not be forever learning what they can do to make life better?

I stayed up with my techie cousins, The Mikes, Thursday night, September 11th into Friday morning to pre-order my iPhone using the Apple Store app.  I went for the 64 gb, big ass iPhone 6 Plus. Bring it.  We did a lot of refreshing that night and I was not able to successfully purchase my phone until I woke up and tried again Sunday morning, but The Mikes are from Canada.  They are hearty.  They kept at it until their phone was secured.

My view on launches is that, yes, I want one but I am done standing in lines and/or I will hit a refresh button 57 times max and then I am going to sleep.  The phone will arrive eventually.

Mine came last week and I was not in a huge hurry to open it.  I will tell you why. Our phones now play an enormous role in our lives.  They are: computer, contacts, camera, clock, calendar, GPS, music player, gaming device, scanner, compass, flashlight, mall, thermometer, notepad, books, magazines, fitness tracker, and oh, yeah, a phone.

Switching phones is, let’s face it, a scary hassle. I would be spending a period of time completely off the grid.  An alert should probably have gone out. An artificial heart secured…  So, I was content to wait for tech support.  My 17 year old nephew, Jake.

We performed our unboxing while we were all together at a vacation home in Ojai, California.  One big problem.  No wifi. Thus, getting my new phone fully operational was largely left up to me.  Enjoy my stoic resolve…

Much like childbirth, once you are holding your beautiful, glowing, new phone everyone conveniently forgets what a bitch it was pushing it through the birth canal.

Setting up a new phone has become a maddening gauntlet of screens and choices and options and passwords and tasks and F***ing Terms and Conditions. Fine, Apple, you probably now own my home and my mother! Just get me back on Instagram!

Some ice chips would have helped.  I’m better now.

I adore this new phone. We have named her Bella and she is pure joy. But I will never forgive her for what she did to my body.

Our Place Out Loud

Our Place: Teen Advice

by Louise Palanker

I host a safe and friendly teen social network/ios app called Our Place where kids the world over gather to share in the joy and confusion of growing up. I personally respond to 15- 20 questions per day in a teen advice column called Ask Weezy.  Here are this week’s top five questions:

Question 1
My parents never ever trust me and they always say I am lying. Plus whenever there is trouble they always blame me without any proof and 4/5 times it was not my fault. How do I get them to trust me ? Plz help.

Weezy

Make it five out of five times that it’s not your fault. Keep a pristine record going for a month and see how that changes their outlook.

Never raise your voice or roll your eyes or stomp out of a room. Be respectful. Trust must be earned. I know it’s hard because kids mess up, but your attitude is so much of this. Show respect and you will receive it.

Did you know that in a court trial, the jury is told that if they catch a witness in one lie, they have the right to not believe any of that witness’s testimony? It’s pretty much the same deal with parents and kids. You are telling me that 20% of the time it IS your fault or that you are lying. I wouldn’t believe you either.

Wipe the slate. Start fresh. Become an honorable person and trust will be yours.

 

The conversation springs to life each week on Our Place Out Loud

Question 2

Hi weezy, If u masturbate does that mean you lost your virginity?

Weezy
No. No. and NO. Loosing your virginity involves sexual contact between you and another person.

Question 3
Hi weezy, so I like this guy who is on vacation for two months. Before he left, he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes and he said he will officially ask me in September when he comes back. He told me he loves me and all that but he talks to another girl on Snapchat and they seem into each other.

How should I confront him? He comes back in 23 days and I really want to know now if he’s cheating on me. I can’t wait till I see him face to face. Do you think I should mention it in text? Because it has been bugging me for a couple of days. And if yes, how do I bring it up? Like how do I say it indirectly?

Weezy
Texting is for fun and for specific information: addresses, dates, times, “I’ll be there in 10 mins,” etc. It is not for intense conversations. You can phone him and say, “I’m just worried about your friendship with Veronica,” or you can wait until you are face to face. If you get into this via text, it will not end well.

That girl may like him more than he likes her. He may have been into her once but now he’s into you. We just don’t know.

I understand that 23 days feels like forever, but patience is your friend. Modern technology has tricked us into believing that we can have whatever we want whenever we want it. But that’s an illusion. Because what we really want is meaningful connections with other people. You can not achieve that via text. Wait.

Question 4
I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school. Long story short I went to a party, got wasted and ended up having intercourse with my 23 year old brother’s best friend! I figured out this morning that I am indeed pregnant. I screamed and cried for hours and my parents will be home in an hour or so. What do I tell them? What do I tell my brother’s friend?? Please help me!

Weezy
Start by telling your parents. They will be very alarmed, so brace yourself. But remember that although you made some bad choices, you are still the victim here. A 23 year old has no business taking advantage of an intoxicated 15 year old.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Tell your parents immediately. You are still a child. You need to be nurtured and protected through this next chapter. There will be tears and this is not going to be easy. But let the grown ups step in and help you through it all.

Question 5
Weezy I’m 14 and I’m very inscure about my large Breast size. My friends all think it’s great and tell me that it’s a blessing.  But it bothers me that I look in the mirror every day to see something that is just uncomfortable and doesn’t even fit my personality or my body.

I always see People staring and it really frustrates me. I tell them it’s really annoying but it keeps happening. How am I blessed with something that’s so painful, heavy, and big that I can’t even stand it?

I told my mom this and she just says I should be happy and feel blessed but I don’t. No 14 year old should have a DD bra size or have to deal with them and learn to fit into stuff at this age.  It’s just not right. (sorry for rambling on)

Weezy
I understand. You may want to try sports bras that offer more comfort and protection.  Layering bras and tanks may also work for you. The Gap has fantastic Sports bras:

If your breasts continue to be a problem and a source of pain and discomfort, you can have breast reduction surgery when you get older.

Some girls are unhappy with small breasts. However, I do not recommend breast implants because this involves putting a foreign object into your body and I don’t believe it to be a healthy choice.

However, reducing your breasts to a manageable size is a viable option for girls like you. Here is a website with information:

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/reconstructive-procedures/breast-reduction.html

Divorce_by_sailor_midnightstar

Ask Weezy Highlights – Divorcing Parents

by Louise Palanker
Cover Image by Sailer-MidnightStar
I host a safe and friendly teen social network, ios app called Our Place. Each week, thousands of questions pour into the community. Kids share with one another and I personally respond to about 20 questions per day in a teen advice column called Ask Weezy. What are today’s kids thinking about? Here are this week’s top five questions.
Question 1
My parents sometime fight. One time my dad was drunk {sorry if this is a little inappropriate } and came home and almost killed my mom. My sister had to go through this and she’s six. They sometimes fight and my mom cries and I feel bad for them.
My mom told me if they divorce I have to live with the one of them and I feel pressure because I love both of them but if they divorce I would have to choose between them.
Weezy
The children of divorcing parents should never have to choose where they will live or with whom.  The adults must be the adults. It is their job (sometimes with help from the courts) to make decisions based around what is in the best interests of the child.
Joint Custody is often the best option. This means you would spend an equal amount of time with both parents. The child’s opinion and experiences are often taken into account while these decisions are being made. In other words, should the child express a concern that one parent is dangerous, the judge will listen to that.
So, if for example, your father is often drunk and violent. It may be better for your mom to have legal custody and for your dad to have supervised visitations. Nothing is set in stone. Arrangements can change as you grow older and/or if your father were to receive help for his alcohol problem.
Remember that you did not ask to be put in this satiation.  This is your childhood.  It matters and it must come first.  The grown ups need to figure out how to put their differences aside and put YOU, first.
If your parents are asking you to choose. You can say, “I need to spend time with both of you. Please figure out a schedule that works for everyone. I will not choose between my parents. I love you too much to do that.”
Question 2
I have a crush on my cousin and he is way older than me. Every time I see him it’s really awkward. Any advice?
Weezy
Cousin Crushing is pretty common. But cousins are off limits, as are way older guys.  So you will go ahead and place this crush in its proper category. It is a crush. It is meant to inform your romantic instincts. What type of man do you find attractive? This type. That’s all.
Enjoy your time with him. Develop a special bond. If he is a man of character, look for this type of man as you continue down your path toward love.
Question 3
Dear weezy, It is just a few more weeks until I’m leaving my parents for my studies and this scares me. The thought of it makes me unable to sleep at night, because things will never be the same again after I leave my parents. I’ll finish my studies and then get a job. Eventually, I’ll have my own family and live elsewhere. I still think I’m too young to leave them and I don’t want to, but I have to and I’m scared. What should I do? :(
Weezy
Many kids feel this way. Other kids can not wait to leave. Here is the good news for you. Not wanting to leave means that you enjoy a wonderful relationship with your parents. This is a blessing.
Sometimes, life moves on when we are absolutely ready. Other times, we need to give ourselves a little push. Don’t think too far down the road. Concentrate on the next task that lays before you and do it well. You will still be home for holidays and summers. Your room and your parents will be there waiting for you and it will stay that way until you no longer need these comforts of home quite so often.
The only thing that never changes is that everything changes. We are in constant motion. That is what makes life so interesting and exciting. Go greet your next adventure.
Question 4
Hey weezy! So my mom recently went through my phone. She read text messages between me and my girlfriend. My mom doesn’t know I’m bisexual but she made a snide comment referring to, “your girlfriend.” I was kinda freaked out because my mom did not know about my girlfriend before she went through my texts. She hasn’t brought it up or said anything besides that one comment.
But my dad said she was yelling to him about it. But I don’t think my mom told my dad everything. Does this mean she doesn’t care? That she supports me? She calls me a lesbian and a dyke all the time. Only because I don’t wear a bathing suit and seldom go swimming. I just wish she didn’t call me those things. And I wish she could just talk to me.
Weezy
I do not think it is wise or kind for your mother to call you derogatory names, but here is the thing when it comes to parents suspecting that their child may be gay or bi… they rarely will come right out and ask you. They will wait for you to come out.
That’s why it’s called coming out. It’s up to you to decide if you have something to say about your sexuality or sexual preference. Since maybe 90% of people are straight, the straight kids never have to go through this. It is assumed, by parents, that a child is straight unless or until he or she says otherwise.
Your mom seems to think that dropping a lot of hints or even teasing you will force the conversation. She does not get that she may be encouraging you to stay silent.
So, break the silence and say something to your mom that puts this on the table. Say, “OK, so I guess you know that I like girls, right?” It won’t come as a shock. You know that she knows. But it will be much healthier if the two of you can just talk about it. That way, you can say, “And please don’t call me a dyke. It’s not funny and it hurts my feelings.”
Question 5
I hate taking my shirt off in front of other people. I’ve never liked my body and everyone always looks better than I do. I know they say looks aren’t everything and that it’s what’s inside that counts, but that really doesn’t seem to be true. I don’t have abs, I have Bacne and I’m pretty short for my age. I can’t change my body even though I wish I could just have a new one.
Weezy
The good news is that you ARE getting a new body.  A boy may continue growing until he is about 21.  Your body is not what it will be once you are a man. Don’t judge yourself so harshly.
Most girls are not looking for abs. In fact, I believe that the more interesting the girl, the LESS she cares about muscly men.  Smart, sweet, funny girls are are looking for a smart, sweet, funny guy who cares about the things in life that actually matter.
There are a lot of girls who are insecure about their bodies too. Especially during the summer time. So, be nice to people, have fun and remember that just about anyone you will meet at the pool or the beach is not all that thrilled with his or her body either.
So, when you see friends and acquaintances gingerly taking off a top or a tee and timidly stepping toward the water, remember that this is an insecure moment for EVERYONE. Offer a big smile and join them.
Barry Gibb Mythology Tour - Hollywood Bowl

Barry Gibb at The Hollywood Bowl

Barry Gibb is the greatest songwriter to ever live on earth.

Sure I could add, “in my opinion,” or “since Cole Porter,” or “next to Paul McCartney and Burt Bacharach,” but I don’t want to, and this is my blog.

So, as a huge melody/harmony/Bee Gees freak, I pumped thick cash into our Hollywood Bowl tickets to see The Mythology Tour.  My darling and amenable husband and I parked down by Fountain and walked up to The Bowl (Come on.  I wasn’t going to also pay for parking.)

Anyway, it was a big adventure and we love to walk.

I had been following the tour on Facebook and YouTube and watching the posted videos. I began to solidify a scheme.  If I could get my equipment past security, I may actually find myself close enough to (unbeknownst to Barry Gibb) sing a duet with him.

That was the plan. But which song?  What about the mix? Would I be able to hear my own voice?  Would I disturb those around me? How dare I?   Those were some of the big questions.  The other fairly obvious one being, “Why don’t I just shut the F up and listen to Barry Gibb?”

Well, my Canon G15, Gorilla Pod and top mounted shotgun mic raised not an eyebrow as my purse was inspected and we passed through the gates of the bowl.

My strategy was now launched into full effect.  But as daylight slipped behind the hills of The Bowl, I met with obstacles.

We were about ten rows from the stage. Barry Gibb was well lit and wearing black, so my camera was opening wide to drink in light, thereby turning Barry Gibb’s face into a glowy cloud.

This did not deter me from singing.

I won’t apologize. Mission accomplished.  And please know that as my voice  rose into the night air to meet with Barry Gibb’s, I was tapped on the shoulder by an usher and asked to pull down my camera.

Yes, I faced humiliation.  No, I didn’t always just enjoy the moment.   But I was (in my mind) a Barry Gibb backup singer. 920 Feet From Stardom!

And, I was able to fire off a load of great photos:

Barry Gibb at the Hollywood Bowl
Barry Gibb at The Hollywood Bowl. Mythology Tour

This concert was extraordinarily magical.  Barry Gibb owned the night while gracefully and achingly giving honor to his brothers. The loneliness of the last Bee Gee was quieted by the sound of Barry’s son, Stephen and Maurice’s daughter, Samantha, plus a sensational band and backup singers, Beth Cohen, Leesa Richards and Charlotte Mckinnon.

OK, so maybe I filmed just a wee bit too much.  (Sorry, people behind me.) Barry Gibb at The Hollywood Bowl YouTube Playlist

But, in my defense, it’s Barry Gibb.

And, in closing, if you, like me, are a big Bee Gees Nut, please enjoy these interviews I did with Maurice and Barry Gibb in 1988.  

and with Robin, Maurice and Barry Gibb in 1993.

Thank You, Bee Gees.

teen advice

Ask Weezy Highlights: Teen Advice – Sexting

Ask Weezy

Teen Advice by Louise Palanker

Cover Art by  KeeraKeera

I host a safe and friendly teen social network, ios app called Our Place. Each week, thousands of questions pour into the community. Kids share with one another and I personally respond to about 20 questions per day in a column called Ask Weezy. What are today’s kids thinking about? Here are this week’s top five questions.

Question 1

Ok. My best friend and I recently told each other that we like each other. We know that we feel the same way about each other. The slight problem is that if we date and we end up having a bad break up, it might mess up our friendship. And our friendship is so good. Is there a way we can work it out?

Weezy

No. There are no shortcuts around tough issues. With great risk comes great reward. What also comes is risk. But here is the way I look at it. In life, we must pay attention to the truth. Let it surface and look at. Say, “Hey truth. I see you. I acknowledge you and I will deal with you, come what may. Whenever you try to stuff down that truth, it festers and does all kinds of damage.

Let’s lay out some predicted outcomes based on your truth: The truth is that you like each other. So,

Scenario Number 1)

Ignoring that you like each other as more than friends in an effort to maintain your friendship. Well, it’s a lie that asks you to pretend something is not happening. So, in an effort to maintain your “friendship” you will both probably want to date others at some point. Those others will not tolerate this “friendship.” You will have now involved innocent people. You will not be with the one you truly love and you will be hurting each other and the people you are trying to date.

Taking this a step further, if one or both of you marry these other people, this will compound the problem and the number of innocents involved. Attempting to remain “just friends” may result in your loosing both the friendship and the romance and living your entire lives longing for each other and regretting your decision to remain “friends.” (Goggle Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles)

Scenario number 2)

You accept that you like each other as more than friends. You are both terrified, but you take this friendship up a notch to dating. It may work out. It may not But you will both get to experience a romantic adventure with a loving partner and for as long as it lasts, you will be learning from and growing with each other. This person may be the great love of your lifetime. Who is to say? If it does not last romantically and you loose the friendship, well, you lived your truths and you left an indelible mark on each other’s hearts. I vote for choice number 2. Live your truth.

Question 2

How do I ask my friend’s mom for feminine products? For the summer I’m staying over my friend’s house while my parents are out of town. Today I just started my period , I always kept a pad with me just in case it started cause I was told by my mom that I would start soon. Anyway, I only had one pad and I need more. IM SOO SCARED. I don’t know why, but it’s embarrassing ..my friend started hers so did her sister but I’m scared to ask any of them. btw its all girls in my friend’s household..

Weezy

The only embarrassment should be the embarrassment of riches in feminine products which inhabit that house. Ask your friend to ask her mom. There are loads of pads in any house full of females. The supplies you need are just a couple of steps away.

I know it feels embarrassing but it is actually very expected. Turn to your friend right this moment and say, “Aunt Flo just arrived and I need supplies.” Do it right now. Before you finish reading this post. Just look up and say that sentence, out loud…. OK, go ahead and whisper it….

Good for you. Now that’s done and somebody is going to get you pads. Have a great summer.

Question 3

I talk to a pervert and I regret everything. He asked me where I live. I said a state that’s far away from where I actually live. I told him a fake age, and my real first name. I also sent him a picture of me and my older sister. I made youtube videos then he messaged me on kik and we became closer. He complimented me and then asked for naked pictures. I sent him one but I wasn’t naked it was just my bum.

Our conversations usually always tend to have sexual stuff in them.. I don’t reply back sexually. I’ll try to change the subject.. He sent me a picture of him and he told me he was 26 but he looks older. I told him he looks like a rapist. He said, “I always point out the best in you, and you always point out the worst in me.” Please don’t tell me to tell my parents or the police.

Weezy

Respectfully, please don’t tell me what to tell you. This guy has an unhealthy, sexual interest in children, meaning, he is a pedophile. In speaking with you sexually online and requesting photos, he is breaking the law and he is dangerous.

Any child who posts content online and enters into a private conversations with a stranger is likely to run into somebody like this guy. The communication will begin with compliments and sharing how much you have in common. As he earns your trust and draws you in, he will begin to turn the conversation sexual. By this point, it is hard for the child to pull away because you may even believe that you are a little bit in love with him and that he values and understands you fully and completely.

This is how he operates. This is what he does. He’s been doing it for a long time and to a lot of children. He is probably not in his 20s and he probably is lying to you about any number of facts. He is probably speaking to a lot of girls and the moment he has enough information about you, he will be arranging to meet you. If you are too wise to allow for that rendezvous, another lonely girl somewhere is not. She will fall into his trap. You need to cease all contact with him. He is manipulating your mind.

STOP TALKING TO HIM. Tell your parents, call a helpline and call the police.

Question 4

Hi Weezy! This boy that I really like asked me for a picture of my boobs. I said no. He said he understood. Should I back away from him or is it ok for me to still like him? I told him I thought we had something together and he didn’t answer. He must have left because it made him uncomfortable… I just dunno.

Weezy

No. He left because you did not give him what he wanted. The only thing you have that he wants is your body. If anything else were the case he would be treating you with respect and trying to learn more about the person that is you. He would not be disrespecting you by

a) asking you to do something crass and humiliating and

b) asking you to do something that lives on the internet forever.

You may be thinking, “But nobody will know they are my breasts.” YOU will know. You will know that you did this in the hope that on the other side of this exchange would lie love. You would then learn the hard way that quite the opposite is true. On the other side of this exchange lies you hurt and feeling used, vulnerable and exposed. You will never know how many people were forwarded that photo.

Has this boy stopped talking to you because he felt “uncomfortable?” I hope so, but I doubt it. He’s gone because you are a young lady with dignity and self esteem. He is off to prey upon girls who have yet to embrace these qualities. He is doing so because he has no dignity or respect for himself or others. He has a long way to go to catch up to you. Please look for love in the eyes of somebody who is not afraid to really see YOU.

Question 5

Last year this guy (my neighbor) and I hung out all summer. I began to like him and then he tells me that he’s going to my school and will be in my grade. I was really happy. He was flirting with me and making my crush bigger.

But then when school started, he talked to me less. After a month of this I decided to just stop taking to him and a week later he noticed and asked me why I wasn’t talking to him and I said I don’t know and walked away.

I have ignored him (and he has ignored me also) for like 8 months now and I miss talking to him.  How do I get him to talk to me again?

Weezy

You gave him a false answer. You do know why you weren’t talking to him but you claimed that you didn’t. You had made your point. He noticed, and when he asked you why you hadn’t spoken to him, the productive answer would have been, “I know. I miss you. What’s been happening? Catch me up.”  This would have invited conversation.  Instead, you shut him down.

This sort of pattern tends to repeat itself between men and women so pay careful attention to what you did right and what you could do better.

A guy who likes you will definitely notice if you start ignoring him. And, when he notices, you may still be hurt and angry and you may be hoping that he says EVERYTHING you need to hear that will make you feel appreciated once again. Well, he won’t say everything. You need to steer that conversation.

He may say something, which is what you got. But if you make him feel badly for saying something, he’ll lick his wounds and walk away.

If, on the other hand, you say something inviting and he starts talking to you again, when the moment is right, you can then say, “Hey, I felt kind of hurt when you started school and it seemed like you were too busy for me.”

That is your truth. That is what happened. Don’t expect guys to know exactly what you are feeling. They don’t know unless you tell them. And in order to tell them, you need to pleasantly re-open conversation.

So, here we are eight months later and you now have some work to do. Walk up to him and say, “I miss talking to you. What’s been going on?” If he is open to that, then down the line, you can tell him the truth about why you shut down.

Louise Palanker on Business Rockstars with Steve Lehman and Jay Samit

Guesting on Business Rockstars

Steve Lehman, Jay Samit and Louise Palanker on Business Rock Stars
Steve Lehman, Jay Samit and Louise Palanker on Business Rock Stars

My former Premiere Radio Networks founder and partner, Steve Lehman is now heading up a new  Entrepreneur and Start-Up Business Platform driven by Radio, Television, & Social Media.  It’s called BUSINESS ROCKSTARS ACADEMY and they produce events and market PRODUCT for Entrepreneurs.

BUSINESS ROCKSTARS brings together some of the world’s biggest and most accomplished CEO’s as well as successful small business owners and entrepreneurs.  Business Rockstars is a resource  for “Wantrepreneurs” that generates content focused on:

STARTING A BUSINESS
GROWING A BUSINESS
FUNDING  A BUSINESS

The Business Rockstars radio show is hosted by Founder of the Media, Entertainment and Technology Alliance MET, Ken Rutkowski and with Ken on vacation, Steve graciously asked me to guest on the show, thus beginning our adventure.

My Our Place partner, Trish Bock and I ventured down to a spiffy, techie, hipster building in Santa Monica called ROC.  It is the former home of Google and although it may be mourning the loss of its scooters and nap pods, the slick and trendy vibe is still quite present.  To the point where we travelled through several tunnels, halls and breezeways before finding the ladies’ room.

There, Trish transformed me with her makeup magic and we set off on our journey back to the studio.

Steve’s co-host was digital innovator and entrepreneur, Jay Samit whose opening question to me was, “Why in God’s name would you make a movie about The Cowsills?”  This guy knows how to win hearts.  Next he asked, “Why didn’t  you just make a film about Up With People?”

“Hold on,” I said, scrambling for my notepad app.  “You are an idea man.  Let me take this down.  Up With People.  Behind the Enthusiasm For Painfully Phony Optimism.  Got it.”

I actually said, “Please tell me that you are not comparing The Cowsills to a hollow, grinning troupe of merry music makers, funded in the late sixties by corporate entities including HalliburtonGeneral Motors, and Exxon  and intended to counter the hippie subculture?

OK, I’m paraphrasing, but I did politely ask if he had seen Family Band and he has not.  I heartily encourage him to do so and to then watch, as I intend to, The 2009 Up With People documentary called Smile ‘Til It Hurts which makes the claim that this musical organization emphasized extreme right wing politics, and enforced cult like rules including arranged marriages.

So, it turns out that an Up With People documentary would, in fact, be so intriguing that it has already been made.

Jay and I then quickly bonded over our mutual love of Standing in the Shadows of Motown, a great film in which he was heavily involved and then the show began.

We spent the first segment discussing Family Band: The Cowsills Story and how one goes about making a movie.  My advice being to do so only at the risk of great financial peril.  The second segment focussed on my teen social network app, Our Place.  

Click To Listen

Jay and Steve asked excellent questions and offered fantastic input. The biggest inquiry of me being this, “You are a creative.  Are you really an entrepreneur?  I answer this question in the affirmative because as a creative, I believe it’s crucial to ally myself with business greats and technological geniuses.  Those who can fill in with strength where I am weak.  That is the definition of a team.

This was the recipe that built Premiere Radio Networks.  Steve Lehman, Tim Kelly, Kraig Kitchin, Ed Mann and me.  Not only did we offer our own talents and abilities, we recognized each others and we knew when to lead, when to follow and when to get out of the way.

By cultivating an excellent team, goals are more fully and naturally realized but also, any achievement is sweetest when shared.

Thank you, Steve Lehman, for ranking me amongst the Business Rockstars.

flirting_nature_by_goflshaven-d3c4e7k

Ask Weezy: Teen Advice – Jealousy

Ask Weezy

by Louise Palanker

Art by Dolokun

I host a safe and friendly teen social network, ios app called Our Place. Each week, thousands of questions pour into the community. Kids share with one another and I respond to about 20 questions per day in a  teen advice column called Ask Weezy. What are today’s kids thinking about? Here are this week’s top five questions.

Question 1

Sometimes the guys I think are cute and like flirt with my friends right in front of me and it makes me so jealous because I don’t think I’m not as pretty as them. I end up doing something stupid and really mean that I regret and I don’t know how to stop.

Weezy

The answer is learning to see the beauty of your own soul with your own heart and mind, rather than looking for it reflected in somebody else’s eyes. Love is not a competition.  It’s collaborative. It is not endangered.  it is abundant.

A boy flirting with another girl takes nothing away from you.  It is its own isolated dynamic.  It has nothing to do with you. That very girl who currently feels like a threat may grow up to become the doctor who saves your life. You can not spend your day looking at others with envy and disdain.  They are humans, just like you.  They have love to give and they need love in return.   The boy who is meant to be your forever guy is out there.

The more loving you are to EVERYBODY the more attracted he will be to you. Show the world your most giving spirit and that love will be returned to you. Once you put healthy energy patterns in motion, you will be amazed.

You can’t have every guy.  You don’t want every guy.  At this point in your life, it’s time to let the flirting fall where it may.   Look at it this way: Only when you stop being mean will real love have an opportunity to find you.

Question 2

I don’t know how to explain this but I have an eating disorder and I don’t feel I am deserving of treatment. There are so many more worse problems in the world than an ED. I feel like an awful person because there are starving people in the world who don’t get to pick if they eat or not and here I am not eating or, if I do eat, vomiting it up.

I feel like I am so selfish and an awful person for doing this.. Am I selfish? How can I stop this? And if I get help it will go on my record and I wanna go into the navy. They may not let me in if I have a mental illness…

Weezy

An eating disorder is not a badge if shame. Nor is any emotional or mental condition. It’s like a broken arm. It just is and it needs to be fixed. I don’t mean to be harsh but you must stop coming up with reasons not to seek treatment.

Eating disorders are not judged. They are understood and they are healed. Until you do that you will not be strong enough to join the Navy. You can not serve your country until you are healthy.

At present, your priority is your disease, and until that is cleared up, you are not being loyal to your true self. You can call any Navy recruitment office and learn about their policies regarding eating disorders. Certainly, you would be asked about this during your physical and it will be against the law to lie.

No matter what you choose to do with your life, you won’t be able to get there while you are still inside this disease. So, first get treatment. Get well. And then begin to formulate what you would like to do with your healthy and whole life.

Question 3

Hey! My biggest crush asked out my friend and she said yes! I’m really mad at her for saying yes. She said she has liked him for a long time! But I love him! I have liked him longer than she has because I have loved him since kindergarden! What do I do!

Weezy

You may like him a whole lot more than she does but he gets to decide who he likes romantically. I know that is hard to hear.

If it’s a deal breaker between you and your friend, let her know, as delicately as possible. You can say, “It will just hurt my heart to see you two together, so I am going to have to take a step back as your friend, while I get over him.”

Or you can cry for a couple of days, then come up for air and accept this. It’s such a gray area. Part of me believes that you can’t lay claim to a boy. The other part of me says, she probably should have put her friendship with you first. But it’s impossible to know how much she cares for him and we can’t make this decision for her.

One thing I will tell you is that if you ask a friend to choose between you and love, they will usually choose love. Even if they live to regret that choice. Love is powerful that way.

Your friendship is more important than this boy. But when you are in the middle of this sort of struggle, it sure doesn’t feel that way. So, don’t say anything you can not take back. You have every right to feel hurt and angry. But think before you speak and then choose words that will allow you to one day retrieve this friendship.

Question 4

This morning, I looked at my belly in the mirror. I haven’t done this in months, because I hate the way it looks. I go to my doctor once a year, I’m a healthy weight. He never says anything bad. But I feel fat because I saw my stomach moving around. Now, when I walk, I think about it, and can feel it jiggling slightly.

I always exercise and have a decent diet. It’s just the way I look. How do I learn to accept it?

Weezy

You tell yourself that this is the way you look and this is the way people look. This is your body. Designed and engineered to go the distance. It is here to serve you and you will pilot your body through this life you have been given.

Would you stand outside a car and stare at it and judge the fender? Why does it stick out like that?!

To protect your car.

Now get into the car and go.

A woman’s body comes with curves. That’s how she is built. Stop judging your body and go share the spirit of your being with the world.

Question 5

My dad is very unpredictable. He yells at us kids and at the dogs. He scares us. I know he had a bad childhood. But last night he was screaming at our older dog and she was shaking. I ran to my room and that just upset my dad. He saw my scared face so he screamed, “I would never hurt the dog and then he was swearing and he slammed my door.

Later I saw him on the couch comforting the little dog and being affectionate. I just went to my room crying.

I want to have a close relationship with my father but I can’t trust him. I also know he will not seek professional help. I just don’t know what to do. He ruins my moods. I was having a great day today until all of this happened. Do you have advice?

Weezy

If he will not seek professional help the quality of his life will continue to be compromised. You should ask your mom if the rest of the family can go to therapy so that you can learn how to better deal with a father who is so unpredictable and frightening.

He was scaring, not just you kids, but also the animals. When you see him giving all that love to his little dog, it’s because that dog will bounce right back to being affectionate towards him far more quickly than will a child.

A child needs love, compassion, conversation, renewed trust, time to heal, etc. Look how frustrated he became when your face revealed your fear. You were still very upset.

What does he do? He slams your door and stomps off??? Sorry, no. That is not OK with children. But who is back in his lap within moments and ready to forget that anything ever happened? His dog.

Your father loves you, fully and completely. He just does not know what to do with himself when he gets all wound up. He has no healthy place to throw all of that negative energy.

He’s not angry with you. He’s angry with himself. You can write him a note, telling him how frightened you get. You can give your mom a copy of that note and you can request that you see a therapist to talk about your fears surrounding your father’s unpredictable behavior.

Cassidy McMillan, Actress,  Filmmaker, Writer

Teen Advice: Our Place Out Loud – Bullies and Friends

Episode 176 with special guest, Cassidy McMillan, director, producer and writer of the new documentary film, Bullies and Friends.

Plus teen advice from our panel of experts

Find Our Place in the iTunes App Store