by Louise Palanker
I host a safe and friendly teen social network/ios app called Our Place where kids the world over gather to share in the joy and confusion of growing up. I personally respond to 15- 20 questions per day in a teen advice column called Ask Weezy. Here are this week’s top five questions:
My parents never ever trust me and they always say I am lying. Plus whenever there is trouble they always blame me without any proof and 4/5 times it was not my fault. How do I get them to trust me ? Plz help.
Make it five out of five times that it’s not your fault. Keep a pristine record going for a month and see how that changes their outlook.
Never raise your voice or roll your eyes or stomp out of a room. Be respectful. Trust must be earned. I know it’s hard because kids mess up, but your attitude is so much of this. Show respect and you will receive it.
Did you know that in a court trial, the jury is told that if they catch a witness in one lie, they have the right to not believe any of that witness’s testimony? It’s pretty much the same deal with parents and kids. You are telling me that 20% of the time it IS your fault or that you are lying. I wouldn’t believe you either.
Wipe the slate. Start fresh. Become an honorable person and trust will be yours.
The conversation springs to life each week on Our Place Out Loud
Hi weezy, If u masturbate does that mean you lost your virginity?
No. No. and NO. Loosing your virginity involves sexual contact between you and another person.
Hi weezy, so I like this guy who is on vacation for two months. Before he left, he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes and he said he will officially ask me in September when he comes back. He told me he loves me and all that but he talks to another girl on Snapchat and they seem into each other.
How should I confront him? He comes back in 23 days and I really want to know now if he’s cheating on me. I can’t wait till I see him face to face. Do you think I should mention it in text? Because it has been bugging me for a couple of days. And if yes, how do I bring it up? Like how do I say it indirectly?
Texting is for fun and for specific information: addresses, dates, times, “I’ll be there in 10 mins,” etc. It is not for intense conversations. You can phone him and say, “I’m just worried about your friendship with Veronica,” or you can wait until you are face to face. If you get into this via text, it will not end well.
That girl may like him more than he likes her. He may have been into her once but now he’s into you. We just don’t know.
I understand that 23 days feels like forever, but patience is your friend. Modern technology has tricked us into believing that we can have whatever we want whenever we want it. But that’s an illusion. Because what we really want is meaningful connections with other people. You can not achieve that via text. Wait.
I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school. Long story short I went to a party, got wasted and ended up having intercourse with my 23 year old brother’s best friend! I figured out this morning that I am indeed pregnant. I screamed and cried for hours and my parents will be home in an hour or so. What do I tell them? What do I tell my brother’s friend?? Please help me!
Start by telling your parents. They will be very alarmed, so brace yourself. But remember that although you made some bad choices, you are still the victim here. A 23 year old has no business taking advantage of an intoxicated 15 year old.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Tell your parents immediately. You are still a child. You need to be nurtured and protected through this next chapter. There will be tears and this is not going to be easy. But let the grown ups step in and help you through it all.
Weezy I’m 14 and I’m very inscure about my large Breast size. My friends all think it’s great and tell me that it’s a blessing. But it bothers me that I look in the mirror every day to see something that is just uncomfortable and doesn’t even fit my personality or my body.
I always see People staring and it really frustrates me. I tell them it’s really annoying but it keeps happening. How am I blessed with something that’s so painful, heavy, and big that I can’t even stand it?
I told my mom this and she just says I should be happy and feel blessed but I don’t. No 14 year old should have a DD bra size or have to deal with them and learn to fit into stuff at this age. It’s just not right. (sorry for rambling on)
I understand. You may want to try sports bras that offer more comfort and protection. Layering bras and tanks may also work for you. The Gap has fantastic Sports bras:
If your breasts continue to be a problem and a source of pain and discomfort, you can have breast reduction surgery when you get older.
Some girls are unhappy with small breasts. However, I do not recommend breast implants because this involves putting a foreign object into your body and I don’t believe it to be a healthy choice.
However, reducing your breasts to a manageable size is a viable option for girls like you. Here is a website with information: