texting_that_girl_by_shock777-d7eqd6m

Kids and Danger – How Safe Are We?

Ask Weezy Highlights by Louise Palanker

Cover Art by Shock777

Are kids really less safe today than they were 30 years ago?

Here’s a question that just came in to the Our Place app regarding safety, freedom, kids and danger:

Question
My mom never lets me have a social life!! Im always stuck inside the house! I’m almost 14… I’m a good kid with good grades!!!!

If I ask to go to the movies, a fair or anyplace with my friends,  I cant go!!!! I can only go outside if my parents go too! So the only thing I do is stay home texting! How do I get my mom to let me go out more? I feel like she doesn’t trust me!

My Response

Your mom trusts you. She doesn’t trust the world. It’s sad that modern kids do not have the same freedom to run and ride and explore and create that my generation enjoyed. But the reality is that you don’t have it.  You do need to accept what is and work within that reality, rather than just fighting against it.

We can speculate as to the reasons why kids today do not have very much freedom. Are there really more child predators today then there were when I grew up? Probably not. But because of the internet, are they better organized? That may very well be.

But I believe that the reason you have less freedom is because of a thing called the 24 hour news cycle. What is this? It’s news that’s on 24 hours a day. The national news used to come on from 6:30-7pm. They did not have time to report on every missing kid. That half hour of news was followed by an episode of Lassie where little Timmy would go running all over God’s creation, so far from home that he got stuck in a well and the only one who noticed was the dog.

Times change, our connectivity has grown increasingly interwoven and your parents are now more aware of what could go wrong. It is disturbingly ironic that you  are actually in more danger sitting in your room, on your device and possibly talking to a stranger than you would be riding your bike up and down the street.

But enough of my theories. The best way for you to feel less trapped this year is to join organized activities that get you involved with other kids. Your freedom is coming. It’s a couple years away, but it will get here. Right now, do not spend your day talking to strangers online.  That is very dangerous.

Instead, plug yourself into the activities that are available to you.  Join, take part, sign up, belong to something that is fun and safe for kids your age.

For more Ask Weezy questions and answers, go to OurPlaceNetwork.com, and/or download the FREE, safe, friendly teen social network, ios app, Our Place.

Our Place Out Loud

Our Place: Teen Advice

by Louise Palanker

I host a safe and friendly teen social network/ios app called Our Place where kids the world over gather to share in the joy and confusion of growing up. I personally respond to 15- 20 questions per day in a teen advice column called Ask Weezy.  Here are this week’s top five questions:

Question 1
My parents never ever trust me and they always say I am lying. Plus whenever there is trouble they always blame me without any proof and 4/5 times it was not my fault. How do I get them to trust me ? Plz help.

Weezy

Make it five out of five times that it’s not your fault. Keep a pristine record going for a month and see how that changes their outlook.

Never raise your voice or roll your eyes or stomp out of a room. Be respectful. Trust must be earned. I know it’s hard because kids mess up, but your attitude is so much of this. Show respect and you will receive it.

Did you know that in a court trial, the jury is told that if they catch a witness in one lie, they have the right to not believe any of that witness’s testimony? It’s pretty much the same deal with parents and kids. You are telling me that 20% of the time it IS your fault or that you are lying. I wouldn’t believe you either.

Wipe the slate. Start fresh. Become an honorable person and trust will be yours.

 

The conversation springs to life each week on Our Place Out Loud

Question 2

Hi weezy, If u masturbate does that mean you lost your virginity?

Weezy
No. No. and NO. Loosing your virginity involves sexual contact between you and another person.

Question 3
Hi weezy, so I like this guy who is on vacation for two months. Before he left, he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes and he said he will officially ask me in September when he comes back. He told me he loves me and all that but he talks to another girl on Snapchat and they seem into each other.

How should I confront him? He comes back in 23 days and I really want to know now if he’s cheating on me. I can’t wait till I see him face to face. Do you think I should mention it in text? Because it has been bugging me for a couple of days. And if yes, how do I bring it up? Like how do I say it indirectly?

Weezy
Texting is for fun and for specific information: addresses, dates, times, “I’ll be there in 10 mins,” etc. It is not for intense conversations. You can phone him and say, “I’m just worried about your friendship with Veronica,” or you can wait until you are face to face. If you get into this via text, it will not end well.

That girl may like him more than he likes her. He may have been into her once but now he’s into you. We just don’t know.

I understand that 23 days feels like forever, but patience is your friend. Modern technology has tricked us into believing that we can have whatever we want whenever we want it. But that’s an illusion. Because what we really want is meaningful connections with other people. You can not achieve that via text. Wait.

Question 4
I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school. Long story short I went to a party, got wasted and ended up having intercourse with my 23 year old brother’s best friend! I figured out this morning that I am indeed pregnant. I screamed and cried for hours and my parents will be home in an hour or so. What do I tell them? What do I tell my brother’s friend?? Please help me!

Weezy
Start by telling your parents. They will be very alarmed, so brace yourself. But remember that although you made some bad choices, you are still the victim here. A 23 year old has no business taking advantage of an intoxicated 15 year old.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Tell your parents immediately. You are still a child. You need to be nurtured and protected through this next chapter. There will be tears and this is not going to be easy. But let the grown ups step in and help you through it all.

Question 5
Weezy I’m 14 and I’m very inscure about my large Breast size. My friends all think it’s great and tell me that it’s a blessing.  But it bothers me that I look in the mirror every day to see something that is just uncomfortable and doesn’t even fit my personality or my body.

I always see People staring and it really frustrates me. I tell them it’s really annoying but it keeps happening. How am I blessed with something that’s so painful, heavy, and big that I can’t even stand it?

I told my mom this and she just says I should be happy and feel blessed but I don’t. No 14 year old should have a DD bra size or have to deal with them and learn to fit into stuff at this age.  It’s just not right. (sorry for rambling on)

Weezy
I understand. You may want to try sports bras that offer more comfort and protection.  Layering bras and tanks may also work for you. The Gap has fantastic Sports bras:

If your breasts continue to be a problem and a source of pain and discomfort, you can have breast reduction surgery when you get older.

Some girls are unhappy with small breasts. However, I do not recommend breast implants because this involves putting a foreign object into your body and I don’t believe it to be a healthy choice.

However, reducing your breasts to a manageable size is a viable option for girls like you. Here is a website with information:

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/reconstructive-procedures/breast-reduction.html